When Will You Know You are Good Enough?

Are you still struggling to believe that you are good enough?

How will you know that you are good enough?

When will you ever be good enough?

…

These are really powerful questions and when my coach asked me these, they stopped me in my tracks…

If you are like most high achieving and highly talented women I work with, then the chances are you might be thinking…

” No matter how much I achieve, what title I have, I will never feel good enough”

There lies the problem.

It is not about what you do, how much you achieve, what your job title is or how much you have on the outside…

If you are curious as to what it is really about then read on…

It is not your fault, and you are not alone.

I get it, I have been there!

It is a trap that starts right from the time you were at nursery. My toy is bigger than yours. I am taller than you. My dress is nicer than yours. Oh, look at my glasses they are brighter than yours, the latest fashion. It doesn’t end here; this is just the start.

When you are a teenager perhaps, then it is about the boyfriends, the hair, the make-up, the latest phone. Then you go to college, it is about the university you want to get into and the grades you have.

At university, it is about how many parties you go to, how much you can drink (how much more you can drink vs your mates), how much you revised, what placement you landed, what grades you are going to achieve to get the top job you want, and the list goes on.

You land on the job that you have been striving to get. Finally, all the work you have done paid off and you arrive at your dream job. Everything is going well. It is amazing. You feel important. You feel significant because someone has given you a ‘title’ – project manager. You must be good enough now!

Then you realise there are other project managers around you. You realise they manage (seemingly) more important projects than you. They have people reporting to them, they go to important meetings. In fact, they get invited to all the important meetings. You start to think: ”why does she get to go to all those meetings?” I have as much experience, I do great work, if not better”.  All of a sudden being a project manager doesn’t seem so significant anymore. You want more, you want to ‘progress’; you want to be the one who gets invited to those important meetings; who gets mentioned/suggested every time a big project comes up.

Then, you get promoted to the senior (seemingly bigger, better, more experienced) project manager job. Now you get invited to most of the important meetings. Everyone is seeking your professional advice on what to do on the next big project.

Life is great. You are happy, you are finally good enough-until you realise…

There is another person just like you who not only gets invited to meetings, she is leading the meetings. She is calling the shots. She gets to delegate to others who could do the job for her. Your new job and responsibilities don’t seem so significant anymore. You want to be the one who calls the shots, who gets to delegate. You want more ‘significance’.

It is pretty obvious now, what happens next. You get the next job, and the one after that but you are never happy because you still don’t feel good enough!

Why?

Because, my friend, you are stuck in ‘the significance trap!’ without even knowing.

You will be surprised how many people can relate to this and you will be shocked when you read the next lines…

“Every time I accomplish something, I feel that I have proven to myself and all these other people that I am somebody.

... and the problem is once I have the next success, the novelty always wears off. I just need to keep going to prove to the world that I am worthy and I am significant!

My whole life I have been driven to prove my significance to others and get away from being seen as mediocre’.

My struggle has never ended, and I guess it never will".

"My struggle has never ended, and I guess it never will"

These were the words of Madonna 80s popstar, a.k.a 'The Queen of Pop' in a magazine interview...

Have you wondered what really causes someone at the top of their game to keep feeling like this?

What causes you to get stuck in this trap of never feeling good enough?

It is simply because of how you see yourself what you believe about yourself!

And until you believe you are good enough just as you are; you will never feel good enough no matter what you have, how much you achieve or how many people think you are good enough!

If you are finding it hard to recognise what is it about you that is already good enough, you might want to consider starting a daily gratitude practice. The easiest way to do that is to download for FREE my heartfelt gratitude audio that will help you do that in just 8 minutes a day.

Tune into today’s Episode 30 of Finding Serenity in the Midst of Chaos Podcast to hear how I got caught in the significance trap and how I finally managed to get myself out of it.

If you want to put an end to the constant chasing for the next title, the next project, next achievement to prove your worthiness to the world and start feeling good enough now, book a free clarity call now and let’s get you started.